You swore this would never happen! The very idea of JB running his stubby little fingers all over our fine products gives me the willies. And that Fessler woman–damn, did it just get cold in here, or what?

I’m only consoled by the knowledge that this makes up for that one time when I lost all of my H&C stock in low stakes Texas Hold’em tourney in a Taiwanese house of ill repute. Although, truly, it was your shining moment. You had to save my, um, “bacon” by trading your own, shall we say, “comfort” for our stock, one share at a time. Who’da thunk that “Charrene da Srightry Chubby Rady” would have been so popular with the Taiwanese Navy? Anyway, I know I never thanked you for taking it on the chin (and elsewhere) for my sake, but now that you’ve gone and let this happen…just a sec…my phone’s ringing…

I’ve been informed by our attorney, Nathan Therm, that indeed, our stock is safe, and that this has proven to be merely a case of massively wishful thinking on the part of JBRW. To say I’m relieved doesn’t begin to express…

After your selfless acts in Taiwan, and knowing the low moral fabric of that Fessler woman, I was truly chagrined to think of what I might have to do to get our stock back. Frightened, even. But after all, we are brothers, and it’s just the kind of tit for tat that siblings can always count on each other for. But in fairness, all the tats on the entire Taiwanese Navy couldn’t make up that Fessler woman and her…well, you know.

I gotta go now, the nurse is coming by with my afternoon candies and if she sees me typing anything other than asdfasdfasdfasdf she’ll probably start making sure I swallow again…last time that happened I wound up on the SEB, let Vipers into Stock, and reclassified my own car out of existence.

–Huck